How to Build a Self Confidence for Success and Fulfillment

How to Build a Self Confidence for Success and Fulfillment

By Hoffi β€’ Updated on July 04, 2019

Self-confidence is without question one of the keys to a successful and fulfilled life. It will help you to meet new people. You will gain new friends and partners, but also new customers and business partners. It will help you to finally do the things you have wanted to do for a long time but have never done out of insecurity. Self-confidence will also increase your performance in competitions and exams.

Self-confidence is not innate, but, like any other ability, can be trained. However, it is a quality that very few people have. Therefore a rock-solid self-confidence will bring you enormous advantages in your life.

In the following, you will get 10 tips and methods that will teach you how to build a self confidence that will make you feel unstoppable. The tenth tip was also the one that changed my self-confidence the most and had the most positive effects on all other areas of my life.

First, let's put an end to a misunderstanding:

Self-confidence does not mean to think:

“I am the best and the greatest and can do everything and f*ck you all”,

but it is the awareness that even if you don’t have the abilities to achieve a goal today, you can and will learn everything necessary on the way there and thus overcome all the problems you face. It gives you the ability to do something, even if you don’t feel ready yet.

That brings us to the first tip.

#1 | Develop yourself constantly

For a really strong self-confidence, you have to develop constantly. It is incredibly important to work on yourself regularly. Because then your subconscious will realize that you are capable of learning, that you are developing and that you will finally stop bombarding yourself with self-doubt.

So read books and watch videos on personality development. Acquire new knowledge and develop new skills. No matter in which area of life you want to improve, the Internet is full of good instructions and information.

This creates an incredibly real and intense feeling of being able to achieve everything. The whole world becomes your playground and nothing is impossible.

Reading this blog shows that you are on the right track. An even better track would Sign Up for our Newsletter to get weekly new tips & tricks to improve yourself. πŸ™‚

How to Build a Self Confidence for Success and Fulfillment - Developement

#2 | Don't compare yourself to others

It is in our nature to compare ourselves because we constantly want to check how far we have developed. But to compare oneself with others is an enormous killer of self-confidence. There will always be people who are better than you.

Many compare themselves with Influencers and the images of their perfect life, with perfect looks and perfect bodies on perfect sandy beaches, always happy, always disciplined. But what many overlook is that these people are professionals at maintaining the illusion of perfect life. After all, one compares oneself with ideals and people who do not even correspond to reality. To compare oneself with others is always a shot in the knee.

Compare yourself therefore exclusively with yourself and your personal development. The word self-confidence does not come for nothing from being self-conscious. So to know who you are. So document your personal development and deal with it.

#3 | Change your focus

Through the way we are educated and taught, we are conditioned to focus on our mistakes. We, therefore, perceive mistakes and defeats much more intensively than our successes. Of course, this distorts our self-image to the negative and we perceive ourselves much worse than we are.

An extremely helpful method to change the focus to the positive, which also costs little time, is a success diary.

Start by writing down all your successes and progresses. Do the whole thing without judging, so document everything where you have taken a step forward than before. Be it finishing school, passing the driving test, losing 5kg and so on. Even if this may seem small and insignificant to you at the moment.

It’s not about you feeling unbelievably great and extraordinary immediately afterward, but about training your subconscious more and more to focus on positive things.

Then write down every day for 5 minutes the things you have done well today that bring you closer to your goals. Also small things, like:

  • I got up on time,
  • I had a healthy lunch,
  • I worked 15 minutes on my project.

It is incredibly important here that you value even the smallest success instead of comparing yourself to a perfect ideal and classifying all your successes as too little. If you constantly evolve, you will approach this ideal picture one way or the other.

How to Build a Self Confidence for Success and Fulfillment - Focus

#4 | Strive for small victories

We already know that big goals are incredibly important. In the short term, however, they often bring very little and can even be very obstructive. If you constantly compare your progress with your huge goals, they can seem extremely puny and meaningless, especially at the beginning. This often leads to enormous frustration and makes people give up. It also gnaws extremely on self-confidence.

Every big goal is just the sum of many small victories. And every single small victory brings you motivation and self-confidence. If you start working only 10 minutes a day on your goals, it may sound like little, but it will make you develop the habit of constantly working on your dreams. And 10 minutes become 20, 30 and finally 60 minutes or even more. You will reach more and more small milestones and build incredible momentum.

Brendon also tells this very well in his video WHY it is important to celebrate the small but fine goals. (12 min)


#5 | Dissolve negative thought patterns and self-criticism

We actually have high self-esteem by nature. Babies love attention, even when their nose is running, their diapers are full and their hair is tousled. Babies never worry that they are not good enough. This is a learned behavior. You can get rid of these destructive thought patterns in the same way.

The following exercises will help you:

  1. If you want to become more self-confident in a situation, make a list of at least 10 points that speak for you in that situation. For example, if you want to be more self-confident about the opposite sex, write down 10 reasons why the other person is lucky to meet you. At an interview, you could write down 10 reasons why the company is lucky to work with you. If you want to win more customers, write down 10 reasons why it’s great to be your customer.
    Repeat these reasons daily until they become flesh and blood.
  2. Meditation: Meditation gives you more attention to your thoughts. Because often we don’t even notice how we constantly criticize ourselves. This also gives you the opportunity to reshape your thoughts and exchange negative thoughts with positive ones. The best way to do this is to use the reasons that speak for you in the respective situation, from the list in the previous exercise.

So if you find yourself with a thought like:

“I can’t start my project yet because I don’t have the necessary abilities to be successful yet”,

you can transform the thought into:

“I can start now, even if I don’t feel ready yet, because I will continue to develop along the way and learn to overcome the problems and obstacles!”

Meditation also helps you to identify less with negative thoughts and just let them move on.

This process does not go from one day to the next. It takes a few months until these destructive thought patterns finally dissolve.

But be careful: Dissolving your negative beliefs won’t do you any good if you are permanently exposed to a negative environment.

#6 | Avoid negativity

If you have an environment that pulls you down, then make sure as quickly as possible that you expand your environment with new positive people and remove yourself from the negative environment.

If you are constantly bombarded with criticism, this clearly has serious effects on your self-esteem. Feedback is important, of course, but resist criticism that does not contain valuable feedback.

Spend less time with friends and acquaintances who make you permanently small, but also with people who themselves have very low self-confidence and self-confidence, because this will inevitably rub off on you.

Of course, this does not mean that you should end all friendships with people with low self-confidence, but actively try to spend more time with positive people who build and support you.

How to Build a Self Confidence for Success and Fulfillment - positive energy

#7 | Avoid contradictions in your thinking and acting

Whenever your actions differ from what you say or think, it weakens your self-esteem. For example, if you have a job or an environment that pulls you down and you still stay in it, you subconsciously say to yourself, “I’m not worth changing this situation”. Whenever you get up in the morning and go to work that makes you unhappy, it tells your subconscious: “I don’t believe that I can manage to improve my situation and I don’t believe that I can cope with the circumstances that expect me to change.”

Of course, you don’t have to quit your job overnight, move or leave your circle of friends, but at least take steps in the right direction.

When you begin to get into action, set up an exit plan, and work toward your goals, that will immediately give you new confidence.

You should therefore never present yourself better than you are because you are only making yourself feel that the person you are is not good enough.

We are bombarded with seemingly perfect people with perfect lives on social media anyway. Your fellow human beings don’t have the need for more supposedly extraordinary people, but for authenticity. To stand by oneself and one’s weaknesses gives you more recognition and self-confidence.

#8 | Do sports regularly, preferably daily

Sport changes your outer appearance and that boosts your self-confidence. But sport has many more positive effects on your self-confidence. You see very fast progress and therefore you regularly have small victories and successes. This also changes the biochemistry in your brain for the better and gives you a more positive picture of the world and yourself.

You will also learn to go beyond your limits regularly and to outgrow yourself. Especially in sports you often notice that you are too far away from more than your own head tells you. People who exercise regularly have a lot more self-confidence.

How to Build a Self Confidence for Success and Fulfillment - sport

#9 | Break your negative habits

If you don’t take care of yourself, don’t pay attention to your body hygiene, live in chaos, dress badly, stuff junk food into yourself or consume alcohol or drugs in large quantities, this also has very negative effects on your self-confidence. This often leads to even more bad habits. A downward spiral develops.

To break this downward spiral, you have to break one bad habit after another.

If you want to break your bad habit in 4 easy steps, check out this article.

#10 | Continually build up new positive habits

It doesn’t matter what habits you build up, you will constantly see how your life improves and develops. And that gives you rock-solid self-confidence. You build up enormous momentum and develop faster and faster towards the life of your dreams.

Once you’ve learned how to turn new positive behaviors into habits and automate them, it gives you the real feeling that you can achieve anything you can imagine. Then you have real, unshakeable self-confidence.

Did you like these tips and methods? Will you incorporate them into your day or routine? Or do you have other useful tips for your own transformation? Write it in the comments.

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I wish you a lot of joy, happiness, and fulfillment on your personal way!

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